it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize