Little spoons don't ask big questions
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
