i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
