so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
