And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize