I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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