i was born a porn star she said
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
