i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't turn off my feet"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
