gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
