They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
