Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
