Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
