Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
