yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
