I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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