What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
