god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it glows. i had to have it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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