i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
