you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's never too late to be topless.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
