dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
