I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We have started to decorate penises.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
