I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
two words...techno handjob
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
