He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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