He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
