Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
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I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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