We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
