make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
