Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
