party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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