So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
