And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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