She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
