Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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