conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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