No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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