Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
