Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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