I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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