Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
