Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Say something about gay babies.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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