I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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