it hurts more in the daytime
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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