I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
