Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
