You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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