Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
