Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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