I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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