He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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