matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
