You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
