I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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