party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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