The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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