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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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