i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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