If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
