I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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