doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize