Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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