Pappa wants mamma naked
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
