Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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