Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
