i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
