Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
