yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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