You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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