I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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