Quick, to the slutcave!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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